There is a rapture on the lonely shore;
There is society, where none intrudes.
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more...

-Lord Byron

Definition of Walkabout :

a short period of wandering as an occasional interruption of regular work
Showing posts with label Fruitland cabin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fruitland cabin. Show all posts

05 August 2017

The insta-story family reunion

Our family reunions now consist of days spent up at my brother's cabin in Fruitland, Utah.

I'm not complaining, I love it up there. I won't lie though, I miss the days of going to new places with the family, but that hasn't happened for ten years, since sister died.

With all of us getting older though, Fruitland is easier on everyone.
I created an Instagram insta-story for the weekend reunion for me to enjoy on here.

I doubt anyone will see it until I'm gone and the family goes through this site to see memories of my life.

If that happens, I hope you enjoy it. The music is inspired by crazylegs and Aaz from our time together driving back from the lake.

27 April 2017

leaving despair in Sycamore Canyon


I had just returned to work after a few days in Mexico City, and I was excited to tell my friends all about it. I was giving one friend some rosary beads she had asked for, when my best friend appeared at her desk, visibly shaken.

"My fifteen year old niece just died..."

A flood of emotions took me over, and I went right back to that fateful day of my own when I got the call about my own sister.

It's been forever since we've spoke, but I get a message from an old girlfriend about her support group for MS. She is so young to have to deal with this disease. I know all too well it's devastating effects on a person, and I find no words to console her. I tell her she sounds strong, but the words are hollow and empty.

She doesn't reply back.

I wake before the dawn and driving three hours up North. I'm not prepared in any way, no food and little water, but I don't care. I need to get out of my head and into the wild.

I find Sycamore Canyon, just outside of Williams, Arizona. There is an eleven mile loop that will work, and I start walking.

Four miles in and I get lost. I want to circle the canyon, thinking that is the most logical route for the loop, but I am mistaken.

Further and further I go, off trail and deep into the heart of the wilderness. I hear no other sound than my labored breathing.

but my mind is clear.....

I eventually turnaround and retrace my steps backwards. My water is gone, the new formed blisters on my feet are screaming in pain, and the sweat along my brow has crystallized into salt from dehydration.

I find this to be therapeutic to my well being.


In the way of the world today, I see on social media about a family friend that suddenly died. Only twenty two hours earlier she had posted a picture of her granddaughter at a gymnastics meet, and commented on how proud she was of her.....

I'll be having Counting Crows on repeat for a while, and taking in the advice from Anna begins...

21 November 2016

family reunions unveil the passing of time

We stop our card playing to soak in the beauty of a double rainbow. The Aunts and Uncles tell stories to the younger kids as the storm clouds pass overhead. I smile at the passing of time.
It's our family reunion up at the Fruitland cabin. As night rolls in, we get the fire going and make our version of smores. Starburst and gummy bears if you please.
Playing on the water, almost breaking my back on the tubes with my buddies. My time for tubing is quickly passing.
I sleep in the same room as the little ones, we tell stories late into the night before cuddling up together.

I feel safe, warm and loved.
I expect more family members will pass away before the next reunion, but new additions will also join the fold. Until my time comes, I will continue to document the journey, unveiling the passing of time.

14 September 2016

Love Shack Jenga

I sit in the splendor of the Fruitland highlands and wonder if I've ever truly left....
The cabin stays the same, the scenery hasn't changed, the people I love are all here.

Maybe I'm just in a dream, and need to be submersed in a tub of ice cold water to snap me out of my entrapment.

Yet everything I see here has shimmering around the edges, letting me know that I'm only making memories before returning back to my reality.
So I take full advantage of this time, long walks and talks with my two best friends, creating big smiles as Jenga blocks fall.
We ride along dirt roads as the sun sets, sit in comfortable silence around a roaring fire, play darts and tether ball to pass time during long and lazy afternoons.

I lip sync teen pop music hits in terrible fashion, but it makes us all laugh.
I love to roam back to the love shack cabin with these two.

31 August 2016

taking some time to fish

"Time spent fishing should not be deducted from one's life."

This saying is usually found on a bumper of an old pick up truck, or on a block of wood in a desk of one's attic.

Funny thing though, it's entirely true.
You can get so wrapped up in wanting to have that big adventure, the one that you think will change your life, that you don't realize how important, even necessary, time spent doing the little things that you enjoy are.
The amount of fish caught wasn't important.
Luckily, for me, I got plenty of the important stuff accomplished.

03 October 2015

Starvation, Cbug, Senility, etc...

I sometimes dream about what my life will be like if I end up in a nursing home. I hope that I will have the cognitive awareness to still harness and use the Internet, if it's still around.  

If it is, I will read stories such as this, reminisce at the pictures displayed here, and watch the videos of my life repeatedly.
Like the time Cbug was brave enough to jump into the lake from the boat.

I love this little guy so much it hurts.
This post isn't really about anything, only a memory that I want to capture forever. Perhaps this will stave off senility as I'll have constant reminders of those that mean the most to me.
Another journal entry of my journey in this life.

22 September 2015

Tubing with S

It's still hard to believe the news I heard a little over three years ago.

S's father, my friend, committed suicide, leaving a little nine year old behind.

S is growing into a remarkable young woman, participating in her first "out of the darkness" event to raise awareness about those suffering with depression.

We don't talk about those things though, at least not today. We just hold on for dear life to our tubes as the boat races across the water.
It clears our heads and lets us just be in the moment,
Although we will never forget him, and just hope he is content now, and resting peacefully,


18 August 2015


Dark encompasses the evening, the coyotes start to howl. 

"Is it time for fireworks yet?"

I can't recall any childhood memory from fireworks being a source of sadness or pain. The sparkle and light brings only positive and happy thoughts.

Spread the joy, light the chaos and brighten the night.

Spin the fire in concentric circles, draw your imagination in the sky.

Paint the night with your own beautiful thoughts,

remember the good times from simple things.

"I will...."

14 August 2015

slow down & take the time to swing....

Syd's smile always make one appreciate the simple pleasures of life.

Whipped around in a whirlwind frenzy, Cbug laughs so hard he may have peed himself.

I spin like a top, uncontrollably, and let my body feel like it is ten years old, flubber flapping in the wind.

Darin lets the stresses of everyday life vanish, focusing only on not falling whilst laughing.

Sweet little girl Flooey, hair flying in the breeze, pure joy on her face as she giggles with delight.

What does this all equate to?

One simple word, full of joy and quite possibly the key to happiness.


12 August 2015

Family time

It seems that the days of taking a week off to be together as a family have gone by the wayside. Children grow, responsibilities creep upon us, and life in general seems to choke out the time we all once used to have available.

So we settle for a weekend away up at the Fruitland cabin.

I'll take what I can get, which included teaching my nephew how to gut his own fish,

my niece going fishing for the first time,

Family target practice assaulting a whole slew of soda cans,

with games of horse shoes, card games, and a clinic on making the best smores in the land.

Yes, I'll take what time I can get.

03 August 2015

four wheels & cottontails

Love is inclusive. It Unites.
It knows not of separation.
Grow in the Light of Love
and it's Heaven's Promise
that you will be fulfilled.
These words rattle around my skull as I shift into gear and follow the road until it turns into dirt, leaving the cabins and trailers behind in the morning dust.

I want to remember Fruitland from the mountain top, the specks and dots of those I love down in the valley below. I turn the corner, push the throttle, and continue to climb.
Cottontail rabbits are everywhere, hurriedly running from the sound of the engine. The irony of my own departure isn't lost with the scampering of soft bunnies feet.

I smile and continue to climb.
The engine chokes at 10,000 feet. I calmly rock the machine back and forth until she gets back into neutral, then start again.

Sometimes I need to heed that same motion into this new phase of life.

I push the motor's limits and feel the whipped frenzy of wind against my face. My hat goes flying off into the sagebrush.

A helmet would have prevented such an incident, and should be worn anyway....

This ride wasn't about safety though, it was about memories.

and in that respect, the day was a success.

01 August 2015

the new henhouse

In memory of Grandpa Leo, his old hen house from his winter home in Yuma was brought up to Fruitland after his passing in 2009.

It served us well as a great place for dinners and games under the mountain stars. Time and the elements took it's toll though, as it does on all things.

So my brother decides to construct a new, sturdier hen house.
But this had it's own set of challenges, the first being figuring out a way to get a heavy machine threader out of the back of the truck.....

27 July 2015


 Sitting in the old bowling alley chairs that line the horseshoe pit, enjoying a cocktail as the sun turns the tips of the sagebrush on fire.
 Crazylegs is almost as tall as I am now. Her competitive spirit is strong this evening, and challenges us to a wicked game of horseshoes.

I add these sweet memories to the countdown, and we let the horseshoes fly, waiting for the sound of metal clinking us to another score.

She pulls out a victory from a close match, I savor her warm smile to keep with me forever.

15 July 2015

old school waterskiing

"Take a deep breath, you aren't THAT old..."
This past fourth of July weekend found me at Starvation State Park in eastern Utah. My brother took those of us willing out for a day of boating. He with his wake board, the kids on tubes, and hipsters like myself going old school, on two ski's.
I've foregone the wake board to memories of younger days, but I still find a thrill in water skiing the old way, the original way, my preferred way.

11 July 2015

The pantyhose game

"Did anyone bring some pantyhose that I can have?"

Even with all my eccentricity, this statement shocked everyone.

"Let me re-phrase....I saw this super fun game that we can try if one of the ladies have some pantyhose they don't mind giving up.."

Yeah, not much better. Regardless, we called our friend Cathy who didn't mind stopping at the store and buying a pair.

I kept the game a secret. I opened the package and cut the feet off each legging. I gathered the kids and those adults that were mildly interested around and explained the rules...

"You each put the pantyhose over your head. Then you stand back to back, and when I go, you try to get to your respective finish line ( about 10 feet away). The first person that either crosses the finish line or pulls the pantyhose off the other person's head is the winner."

Got it?

Before we could start the game, people were rolling in the grass laughing at our faces under the nylon.

Then things went crazy once we started, hilariously crazy. With the countdown to me leaving my beloved Utah in the throes of finality, you'll see more family sappiness over the next several months until I'm finally gone.

10 September 2014

A vignette of family, food and fishing.

You may know that you are loved when your shirt is taken off your back and used to dress the favorite cabin tree.

Perhaps you may know you are loved when you are teaching the youngsters the trick to the perfect roasted marshmallow.
You may find love in frying the previous days catch for breakfast, or perhaps in reminiscing about being on the lake, waiting in anticipation for your line to show signs of a nibble.
You may find love in just working the land in your old reliable tractor.
Love may be in the beauty of a morning sun rising to warm your face.
One thing that I am pretty sure of, the love never seems to run out up here in the mountains, when surrounded by family and friends.